Goodbye Singapore

I have always considered myself a patriot. After having spent 26 years in living here, I love this country. It is most dear to my heart and I recall telling myself when I was young that one day when I grow up, I must become someone useful to the nation and contribute in some way to make my country prosper so that Singaporeans can be safe and sound and will always be able to enjoy life because they just work so hard and deserve to partake in the country's success.

However, as I grow older, I sooner realise how utopian my ambitions sound. Years after I made that patriotic promise to myself, I now realise how idealistic I was, to the point of absurdity. But before you call me a traitor, allow me to justify myself.

I was at NIE this morning, attending a lecture on Literature and Teaching Methodologies and it just dawned upon me how everything here is just so stifled and strictly controlled.

Tutor: We do not want to introduce such books into our syllabus because they are too controversial.

Somehow, that got my goat. For me, literature is more than just a book or novel that you take up in your spare time for enjoyment. It is more than your Dan Brown or Stephen King thriller. Literature is a way of questioning society's values and whether established values do have any merit. By questioning through literature, society can then see its mistakes, make necessary adjustments and then move forward towards a better and more improved society with a new set of values and beliefs.

The only way a piece of literature can propel a society forward is through questioning and controversy so that it can set the readers thinking. It is only through the spirit of rebellion found in great literary works that a society can mirror itself and see if its values really are beneficial to the whole society. it is this spirit of rebellion that keeps forth liberal humanism and promotes human rights and democracy so that any tyrant who seeks to control the minds of society will soon find himself overthrown by the rebellious spirit found in literary works.

Hence, when the tutor made that statement, it stabbed me somewhere in my heart. For by killing off books that court controversy, can our society move forward? By killing off controversy, aren't we killing off the very essence of life itself, for is not life shrouded by controversy? Can one's life ever be a straight line, devoid of emotional rollercoaster rides? If the government becomes tyrannic and oppressive, is not Literature a way to question the government's tyranny ( which is in itself very much controversial), in hope that the spirit of revolution can garner wider public support for an overthrow of the tyrannic government? Killing off controversy not only shelters the students from the harsh realities of life where they have to take a stand towards how they feel towards complicated life questions and issues but also promotes dictatorship and tyranny that suppresses their democratic right to speech and life.

I met up with another friend of mine who just returned from the States today and he was clearly upset too with the environment here. Everything is about about money. People study here so that they can just get a job which they simply have no passion about. It is a disgraceful contrast to other countries where people really study because they love the subject and have the passion for it. That kind of passion keeps them learning even when they have graduated because it is what they love to read about. In contrast, our students here do not learn. Rather, they study simply because of the threat of not getting a lucrative job. With that kind of mentality imbued in them, it is no wonder our students really detest learning and for them, reading simply ends the moment they graduated. Its so sad when my friend and I talk about how we love teaching but how the environment and the cultural soci-economic factors have hindered this passion for learning even after we have gotten our paper degrees. We were discussing about satisfying our desire for learning more, something which, sadly, most Singaporeans do not have.

The culture and the whole environmental setup is just so sterile here. Everything is about money, money and more money. It has gotten to the point of marriage being pegged to who have more money in their bank so that they can "support" their family. In the West, the girl marries the guy because of passion. Here, majority would have to check their mate's bankbook before deciding if he is eligible to take the plunge. If you possess passion, you are deemed impulsive and perhaps "immature" simply cos you cannot "control you feelings". But I SAY HECK IT. LET your passion and feelings roll because that is part and parcel of living. It has gotten to the point where my passion and feeling have to be suppressed here because of the sterility in our society. I have to check my words because it may not be in line with the rest. I have to check my enormous passion and emotions because they are a hindrance to the rest of the society and deemed "childish". I have to not tell the truth because the truth hurts. You know what. The truth hurts but it sure as hell makes you a better person than if you had never been hurt by it and live in your own fantasy make-believe world all your life. It has gotten to the point where I do not even dare to dispute my tutor's stance on controversial books and have to repress my views because I might be deemed childish or immature for having such spitfire thoughts.

Singapore is my country and I WANT TO TELL THE TRUTH IN MY OWN COUNTRY!

But it has gotten to the point where this sterility and suppression has driven me to look elsewhere. The last time I saw the real Chia Wee Khoon was in Melbourne where I can sashay down Swanston Street in a smiley mood ( yes, smiling at strangers in Australia is very much recommended and people won't think of you as strange!) and let my freedom of expression run wild with exuberance. The real Chia Wee Khoon appeared in Melbourne and he was suppressed the moment he landed back in Singapore.

Goodbye Singapore. You have had your chances. Its time for the real William to show himself once again. The true William that believes in freedom, passion, love and above all else, the right to be who you truely are.


"If liberty means anything at all it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." - George Orwell, Preface to Animal Farm (1946)