Fate

Sometimes, I do not know if there is really this strange thing called fate. Sometimes I believe in it and sometimes I don't.

I always wanted to do History in NUS and NIE but by some luck or should I say Fate, I was forced to do Literature by MOE which left a bittertaste in my mouth. Not to say that I do not like Literature. I love it but I just love History better. However, seeing how my fellow coursemates are now being tortured by their BDSM sadistic lecturer, I sometimes wonder if God or fate or whoever it is had decided long ago that I was to escape this and take the easy route out in NIE.

It was also in Australia that I really changed the way I look at things and live my life. I was so close to not going to Australia. I just hopped on the plane on impulse and God knows why I decided to go there but I somehow did and it really altered my life so dramatically in all ways one can imagine. I believe I lost my innocence somewhere in Melbourne near Swanston street where I first met Noby. Noby became my best friend and my worst friend in the way he helped me to change my worldview.

I sometimes wonder what would have happened if my ex-girlfriend and me were still together. Probably I would have been struggling to feed her appetite for good food and I would never have made it to Australia if I was still with her.

I can't help but feel that all these things are so fated that it is so scary. I sometimes lie in bed at night in the dark and wonder if my life is like a book and the story has already been written. If this really is the case,please GOD, do not make me live my life in vain. I have lived 26 years of my life drifting about and I just don't where to go.

I once met a man who know how to read the lines on one's face and he told me I am going to grow up to be someone great one day. Those words have remained etched in my memory ever since that day and as I grow older, I begin to ponder over the validity of what he has said becos i just seem to be going the other way in life, on the fasttrack to annilation and doing everything opposite to what he has said. Fate? Somebody tell me.....