The yo-yo

My mood swings like a yo-yo. After a mugging session with Nuan and Gaga, I recovered. The effect is scintillating. It is amazing how a session with two Lioness can actually lift one's spirits. After the session, I regained life.

Two more weeks and everything in NUS will just become a speck of my memory. Two more weeks and the new life I have been looking forward to, the new start will begin and I will enter into a new phase of my life. I simply cannot wait.

I think it is the prolonged and never-ending wait that seems to have slung me into depression. Since high-school, I have been awaiting this day. Finally, that day is going to arrive.

I received MOE's letter yesterday, outling my salary and date of commencement. As much as I wanted to break bond to seek greener pastures in the private sector, I seriously can't wait to get start. I have grown to realise that since I am in the bond, I may as well settle for it and get it over with. As the Chinese saying goes: No fish, Prawn also not bad.

Sleepless in Sembawang

I couldn't sleep last night. I was physically exhausted but I just couldn't shut my eyes. Even when I closed my eyelids, the silence and darkness of the night engulfs me and as much as I try to shake off the silence and darkness, I just can't do it. I can't rest my mind. Something is bothering me but I do not know what. It is located in the depths of my mind and I tried desperately to uncover the hidden meaning of my insomnia but to no avail.

I got up and played dota. I watched the O.C. I went into my sister's room and bombarded her with nonsense. I know I am tired but I cannot rest still. It worries me because my exams are drawing near and I need every bit of rest I can gather but somehow, I just cannot lie down.

Slowly, I feel my legs disappearing. The numbness starts from the toes and moves swiftly up to my belly, incapacitating my lower body. The sudden numbness scared the shit out of me as I struggled to feel my legs. The sudden thought of losing a vital organ of my body struck like a lightning from the clear blue sky and it terrified me.
I grasped for breath as my heart pounded faster and faster like a hyper-charged bomb set off to explode with a thunderous bang. I tried to cry out to God, whoever he may be, but no answer as I continued my struggle to breath. My chest yearns for release, a release or scream of desperation but it fails to materialise. I clenched my fist in agony as the blood rush seized my entire being.

Then suddenly, calm and peace. I sat up slowly and felt the numbness in my legs slowly receding. I wiped the cold sweat from my head and stared into the blankness of the night, trying to figure out what just took place. I moved my tired and battered body off the bed and checked out the clock. 5 am.

I got dressed and walked to McDonalds for a breakfast. As I passed the convenience store, I checked out the bottles of wines on display. I hesitated and then decided to give them a skip. I strolled briskly on to get my breakfast and finally headed home to prepare for school.

I still don't know what hit me.

Report card

Subject: Relationship
Module code: Life 2107
Tutor: Dr John Phillips
Student Name: Chia Wee Khoon
Age: 26
Relationship status: Single

Relationship score:

1) Theory: B
2) Practicum: F
3) Intimacy: D
4) Sweet notings: C
5) Interactions with In-Laws: A
6) Conversations: D
7) Fate: F
8) Playing the GAME/ Mind games: F

Overall grade: F/ FAILED

Teacher's comments:

The student possesses great theories on relationships but for some reason is unable to translate his theories into practical use. He also ranks lowly on fate for some reason and I just cannot pass him. He has shown great willingness to make sacrifices to learn the ropes but somehow, this module is not suitable for him. Towards the end of the course, he is somewhat tired and jaded by what he considers "ridiculous" demands set on him by the module. A promising student capable of so much more that has sadly went off track somewhere in the module. A big waste.

Recommendations:

Retained or drop out of module.

Plans

Things that I want to do:

1)Trip to Thailand
2)Night Safari/Zoo
3)Food Tasting Expedition around Singapore
4)Carribean Cruise
5)Stay one month in Europe
6)East Coast cycling/blading
7)Amazon jungle expedition
8)Trekking/ hiking
9)Transiberia adventure at year end
10)Play tennis

Focus for next few months:

1)Stupid exams to clear
2)Getting used to NIE and work
3)Piano lessons
4)Finding new stuff to occupy myself

So many things to do, so little time. Darn.

In memory of brave souls who perished at Normandy Beach 1944.

This post is dedicated in memory of brave soldiers who stormed the beaches of Normandy France on 6th June 1944 to embark on the liberation of Europe from Hitler's evil clutches. Your honour and valor is unrivalled.


" Soldiers, Sailors and Airmen of the Allied Expeditionary Force! You are about to embark upon the Great Crusade, toward which we have striven these many months. The eyes of the world are upon you. The hopes and prayers of liberty-loving people everywhere march with you. In company with our brave Allies and brothers-in-arms on
other Fronts, you will bring about the destruction of the German war machine, the elimination of Nazi tyranny over the oppressed peoples of Europe, and security for ourselves in a free world.

Your task will not be an easy one. Your enemy is well trained, well equipped and battle hardened. He will fight savagely.

But this is the year 1944! Much has happened since the Nazi triumphs of 1940-41. The United Nations have inflicted upon the Germans great defeats,in open battle, man-to-man. Our air offensive has seriously reduced their strength in the air and their capacity to wage war on the ground. Our Home Fronts have given us an overwhelming superiority in weapons and munitions of war, and placed at our disposal great reserves of trained fighting men. The tide has turned! The free men of the world are marching together to Victory!

I have full confidence in your courage and devotion to duty and skill in
battle. We will accept nothing less than full Victory!

Good luck! And let us beseech the blessing of Almighty God upon this great
and noble undertaking."

General Dwight Eisenhower, Supreme Commander of Allied Expeditionary Force, in his pre-invasion speech to soldiers 5 hours before the biggest invasion armada took off from England's shores to hit the beaches of Normandy on 1944.

http://www.kansasheritage.org/abilene/ikespeech.html

For more information on the invasion, go to:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Normandy

Buckaroos

I went for a dinner with my mum at this place in Sembawang called the Buckaroos. It was fantastic and I think I should try to organise a trip there sometime. The ambience was very Americanized, not surprising since quite a large number of Americans live in those quaint colonial houses near the Sembawang Sea.

If you still do not get a feel of the American ambience, the food certainly will make you feel so. I order a Texan Chicken Chop and it was when I saw the monstrous portion that quelled my doubts as to how Stone Cold Steve Austin ever reached the humongous size he is today ( http://www.wwe.com/superstars/raw/stonecold/profile/). The chicken chop could have been slowly dissected by 3 person but I finished it because the meat is juicy and thick!

The downside is that this place can be very pricey because it costs around 30 bucks for 1 decent meal. However, taking into consideration the huge portions they serve, I think the price is just right. The wine, though, is quite cheap, going at 7.50 bucks per glass as compared to the normal going rate of 12 bucks per glass.

Should pay that restaurant a visit some other time.

Fate and Destiny

Destiny or fate refers to the inevitable course of events. It may be conceived as the irresistible power or agency that determines the future, whether in general or of an individual. It is a concept based on the belief that there is a fixed natural order to the universe. --- from Wikipedia.

I can't help but think about the concept of fate and how this intangible "fate" continues to twirl hapless human beings around its fingers like a playtoy. I never really believed in fate because I used to think that one's own life or destiny lies in one's own hands and he should carve out his own destiny and path in life and make it happen through his own actions.

Yet, as I grow older and experience various heart wrenching and disappointing moments in my life, I can't help but think that perhaps some things are just meant to be. Perhaps some things are just fated by the gods. Perhaps everyone of us on earth has already got some plans mapped out for us by the superior beings up above. I still remember clearly how I always hated it when my ex's mum always tried to advise me, " William, if its yours, its yours and nobody can take it away from you." I refused to believe it. I hated it. I rejected it.

Yet, looking back at that piece of advice, it suddenly dawned upon me how true that statement is. I looked back at my life and re-evaluated my past experiences and relationships and realised that without fate, I would'nt have turned out this way. I tried so hard in the past but now, I am truely resigned to the belief that I should place my hopes in fate and let it show the way.

The realisation takes time to kick in. But one day, it will sink in. And fate will decide everything.

Happy birthday Winnie

Spent a good saturday evening with my cousins who celebrated cousin Winnie's birthday. Had a great time with the gals and then went for movie with my bros Lik and PK. Watched a horror show Fragile. I gotta admit the movie had some extremely scary moments. Not bad movie but not the best.

Japanese girls addicted.

I do not know why but I have this thing for Japanese girls. The way they look, the way they talk, the way the behave? I seriously got no idea. I just know that I love them.

Love Language

The Five Love Languages

My primary love languages are probably
Acts of Service and Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Acts of Service:		9
Quality Time:		9
Physical Touch:		7
Words of Affirmation:		4
Receiving Gifts:		1

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Steamboat gathering

Had a great steamboat gathering thanks to Nuan and Carina's efforts. Fine wine, fine people, fine food. Thats a hell of a night.

A new start.

Hi all my friends. Finally, I have decided to start my life anew on a new blog. I hope you guys can still give me your support and with your support, may my new blog and my new life take off. Let bygones be bygones and today shall be a new start to a whole new chapter to my life.

This site will deal mostly with music and movies, two of the biggest loves of my life. And as a start, I shall share with you guys X-Japan's classic ballad, Endless Rain as its poetic lyrics by Yoshiki touches the very depths of one's soul. Enjoy:

Endless Rain
Words & Music by Yoshiki

Endless Rain
music & words: yoshiki
I'm walking in the rain, though everything seems to be hurting me for some reason.
There is only nothing.
Just kill me now ... as I roam forever.
Until I can forget your love.
To me sleep is a confusing, narcotic that only quiets the beating heart.
All my love seems to flow from my body like a heart felt memory.
I keep my love for you to myself.

*Endless rain, fall on my heart In this wounded soul.
Let me forget, all of the hate, all of the sadness,

Days of joy, days of sadness slowly pass me by.
As I try to hold you, you are vanishing before me.
You're just an illusion. When I am awake, my tears have dried in the sands of sleep.
I'm a rose blooming in the desert.
It's a dream, I'm in love with you. Hold me warmly in your arms.
I awake from my dreamI can't find my way without you
The dream is over.
I can no longer hear the voice of your gentle words.
Floating off tear stained walls.
So awakening in the morning, I'll move into my dreams ...until I can forget your love.

repeat *
Endless rain, fall on my heart, in this wounded soul.
Let me forget, all of the hate, all of the sadness.
Endless rain, let me stay a memory in your heart. Let me take in your tears, take in your memories.

For japanese version of the lyrics, please go here : http://www.x-japan.de/main.htm