Taegukgi

"If only one of us gets to go home, I want it to be you"..... Zhang Dong Gun in Brotherhood 2003.

A country torn apart by war.
Two brothers divided by war.
Two lovers separated by fate.
A wait of 65 years.....

The most heart wrenching story that I have ever watched in my life. No movies in Hollywood even comes close to this all time Korean classic featuring superb actors like Won Bin and Zhang Dong Gun. This tearjerker will crack every fibre of your emotional being with its superb story line and musical score.

Miracle.

The execution was due to take place. But no, I was pardoned.

Just before the knife falls on my neck, I received a pardon from God.

I had been a very bad man. I skipped lectures. I never do my homework and tutorials. I never even finish a single novel prescribed by my lecturer. On the eve of the exam, I photocopied 500 over pages of notes to bring to the exam hall and I plagiarised every single word from the essays i printed. I never bothered to do any research for any modules. I took the easy way out. I just...slacked my way through, not thinking about my future and I could'nt care less whether I pass or fail.

On the eve of the paper, I got a panic attack because I did not read a single novel for the paper. There were 7 novels at all and tons of notes that I did not even read at all. The last minute speed reading of 400 over pages in one night almost killed my eyes and my mind was even thumping with the furious registry of facts about Freud.
At the point in time, I regretted my vagrant days of not going for lecture and not reading a single novel.

I entered the execution ground and wrote rubbish. I thought it was done, that I had finally rode out my luck. I lamented to Meja and Nuan about my impending failure.

Yet, today, I saw a pardon, a miracle. Just yesterday, I had blogged about the impossibility of miracles in life. And today, I got the biggest slap across my own cheeks when I witness one of the biggest miracles of my life. I passed and once again, I scored all Bs except for the one module that I did not read a single novel. For that modules, I miraculously scored a C+.

I remained stunned in my seat. I went numb. The miracle which I never believed in had happened. A fortune teller once told me that I am destined for great things. I never believed him. He told me that things are fated in life. I never believed him.

Now, I believe. Yes. I believe. Fate. God. You are alive because today, I saw you. Thank you for the miracle. The dead has been resurrected.

Broken

Can something that has been broken before be mended back?

People around me keep telling me how there is a solution to every problem, how there is always some speck of optimism in this world. But as I grow older, I find it somehow harder to believe their words. Not that I do not respect their advice but I simply cannot swallow that much-appreciated piece of advice anymore.

In this world, some people's diseases are terminal and cannot be cured. In this world, some people just cannot change no matter how much you try to influence them.

Nice to look at, nice to hold, once broken, considered sold. I have seen that sentence around at departmental stores countless times. Now that as I grow older, I begin to realise how true that sentence is. Can a human heart heal so easily? Can a love that has been extinguished be rekindled like lighting a wick? Once the cracks have appeared, can it be mended and pieced back without any fissures? Can man ever not die and achieve immortality.

As much as I try to convince myself to take my friends' advice, some miracles in life that you try to believe in just do not seem to materialise. But hey, maybe that is life :)

GODLIKE!

Pure sexy goddess

Inability to grow anymore

I tried and tried to put on weight but somehow I just cannot put on anymore weight. Its amazing how so many self-professed "fat" people are trying to slim down but I, on the contrary, is trying to put on weight.

People always think how hard it is for one to go and lose weight but let me tell you something. Trying to put on weight is a tough job for me. I have to eat lots of protein and suffer from constant bouts of protein overdose and yet no matter how much protein i eat, the growth is minimal. Not only that, you'll be amazed that I spent most of the time trying to churn those "growth" into muscles and not fats which means I have to exercise twice as hard as before for the "minimal gains". And not to mention that constant eating of nutritious food puts more pressure on your organs like kidneys and liver to process the food. And sometimes, I feel that I have eaten to the limit that I just don't wish to eat anymore cause my jaw is simply too tired and drained from all that chewing.

Instead of feeling more strength by being more big sized, I actually feel more lethargic and tired putting on more weight. The increased size puts more pressure on one's body and the increase amount of fats decreases vitality and stamina, which makes all the size gains useless. Its just one bug lump of fat or mass that is huge but have no real substance.

Besides, my friend from NUS actually told me that size is determined by genetics. Which means at 8 if u are thin, u are destined to be thin and vice versa. Gosh. To think I spent one whole year trying to put on weight and now 1 year later, here I am, back to square one.

Bored to death

I have nothing to do at home and its getting to me where I wake up everyday doing the same old meaningless things like playing game etc.

How I wish I can just somehow start work so I can start earning money. I realised that something has changed inside me. I used to yearn for a life of idleness but now I feel that idleness is extremely detrimental to personal development and idleness for long periods of time diminishes a man's drive.

I want to achieve financial freedom soon so that I can finally embark on a new phase of my life. One the one hand, I am excited. On the other hand, I am nervous as to what the world out there holds for me. I have lived 26 years in this world and the thought of spending around 40 years in the job market, slaving it out for someone that is not related to me at all and whom I do not have a feeling towards just makes me cringe. Yet, this is something I think all humans have to go through. Even millionaires have to go through this stage I guess. I seriously hope I can emulate those millionaires and have a decent report card to show in my life. I have had enough of idleness and nows the time to embark on my new goal in life: Financial Freedom.

I feel lonely at times but I guess thats the way life works. Simply I haven't met the one or simply maybe because I really am too complicated and not made for human relationships. As each day goes by, the more I keep thinking that I have managed to control this loneliness. It used to be unbearable and drove me nuts but now I think I have somehow managed to overcome this state and be more pleased with life as a single.

Life is good at the moment and I can't wait for make it better when I start work!